Hey there. Today I’m going to talk about the holidays, since Easter season is upon us. I’ll preface with- this is not a “how to” guide, so if that’s what you’re looking for, you should find another blog post. It’s more of a rant and/or talking about how I’ve navigated holidays throughout my life. That has looked a little different throughout the everchanging phases of my life, and this year may be one of the most challenging, if not the most challenging. I have a lot to unpack regarding family rifts and miscommunications, and that very well be its own post someday. I want to talk about this because every family has its own special kind of dysfunction and that’s a fact. I want to normalize and validate the fact that holidays aren’t always the sparkly magical seasons that we see on t.v. Holidays can be hard and stressful, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and kind of hate the season. So, let’s get started. 

Oh, the holidays. I always look back on Christmas as being the big one. Not just for myself in my childhood and adult life, but in the lives of many others too. It seems like after Halloween and all through Thanksgiving, chaos starts and builds. The lights, the gifts, the shopping, the trees, the decorations, the list goes on. It can start to feel like a monumental amount of pressure as an adult, especially an adult with children. An enormous amount of pressure is placed on parents to make their child’s Christmas feel “magical”. Society tells us that if we don’t have the matching jammies, or the most expensive gifts wrapped in the most expensive wrapping paper or do the most “Christmasy” things all December long that we’ve failed. We’ve failed as parents if we didn’t go above and beyond for Elf on the Shelf. We should be ashamed of ourselves if we lose our patience with our toddler while trying to get a full set of snow clothes on; just to build a snowman with them for less time than it takes to put the clothes on and take them back off. We should be especially ashamed if we don’t get our sweaty selves undressed fast enough to make the hot cocoa with the marshmallows, candy canes, and whipped cream on top. And don’t forget the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree (which was not at all fun to set up with your child for many reasons). Instant parent jail if you don’t put their favorite holiday movie on as you serve this crazy cocoa. Oh, and also- you should all be in your matching jammies by now; ready to drink cocoa and watch the movie with your kids. The. Pressure. Is. Real.  

These are all first world problems, I know. I’m writing this from the spazzy brain of a first world citizen, so let’s keep rollin’. These things I mentioned before are the least of the problems though. More serious issues come from relationships. Best of all, the relationships with family. There’s no easy way to say this; family sucks. They are generally the closest people to you; people whom you spend a lot of time with and have a lot of laughs, and end up causing you the most pain simultaneously. As a child, holidays seem magical and fun. When you become an adult, you start to see certain people for who they really are. Complicated self-centered assholes. Don’t even lie, we can all be that person at one time or another. I know I was in my early 20’s. I didn’t have a care in the world for anyone but myself. If it didn’t benefit me or involve drinking, then count me out. Personally, I learned that everything wasn’t as it seemed when I was a kid. I started to feel out of place and and like I didn’t belong anywhere. And don’t even get me started on scheduling. Do we have to spend half the year deciding on a day for Christmas? Let’s get together on December 24th every year and call it a day. If you can’t make it, then see ya next time. You can’t please everyone, and this is one of the things that frustrates me to the ends of the Earth; the people who try. By trying to please everyone, you’re just pissing everyone off. So it’s backfiring, okay? The guilt trips for not attending the Easter dinner with your very distant family members whom you are in now way close to, the boundary crossing when you said- please don’t go over the top and buy my child so many things for the holidays. I mean my God, do we have to have 4 Easter baskets for one child; I’m not letting them eat all that candy. 90% of it is given away, thrown in the trash, or sits in out cupboard for eternity until we find it a year later and decide it’s time to throw it away. As a child, these dynamics and waters to navigate are nearly non-existent. Sure, we overhear the disagreements from time to time, but logistically, there’s no relevance. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, other than I’m just complaining, so there’s that.

I had no idea I/my family was so dysfunctional and abnormal my family was until I had a boyfriend from my young adulthood who I dated for about 3 years. The way his family approached holidays was the way you see it portrayed in the Hallmark movies; no joke! I was in another world. I couldn’t comprehend how a divorced grandmother and grandfather could share a meal at the same table and get along for a family gathering. I also couldn’t comprehend how one woman (grandma) could put so much delicious homemade food on the table for 13 people for one big holiday. The joy, the warmth, the love. It was all felt; and there were never any big crazy over the top decorations, traditions, cookies, etc… It was a feeling. It was love. That family cared more about genuinely spending time together than worrying about the consumeristic part of the holidays. I’m in no way saying that I want to go back to be a part of this particular family, but I do want to cultivate that same kind of warmth in my own home for my own family. You take something from every relationship in your life, and that was something I took from that specific relationship. Holiday magic is more than matching jammies, the best decor, the best gifts; the magic comes from the people you surround yourself with. 

Now that I’m good and comfy with my ranting, I’ll rant in a new way about how I’m currently navigating the uncharted holiday waters with family this Easter season. I. Am. Drowning. In more ways than one. First off, I’m becoming obsessively perfectionistic about every last detail, which isn’t going to help my daughter have a good holiday. It’s only going to exude stress and anxiety on Easter morning. So, I’m trying to CHILL out. The reality is, she just needs a present mommy to be there with her on Easter to celebrate. I overcompensate a little on the holidays and I tend to have many racing thoughts about how it needs to be perfect. I have to remind myself that children don’t care if it’s perfect. They just care that you’re there giving them whichever holiday experience you choose to give them. I’m also struggling internally with various other family factors at play. To give some background, I had a pretty serious mental health crisis in December 2025. My road to recovery is and has been a very long and bumpy one. There’s a lot of unspoken tension between myself and other members on my family and in-laws, and the dynamics have not been great. To say the least, there have been some pretty negative comments made about me during and coming out of crisis. Some people really showed up, and others fled; so it was apparent who my people are/were. So needless to say, I’m having a difficult time with the holiday. I’m not interested in sitting down at a table of people who talked poorly of me and fled when I needed them the most; people I called my family or friends. But I realized something though, hanging onto this anger inside is only destroying me. It will only destroy my daughter. I’ve been doing a lot of reading, because I’m confused and intrigued by humans who act in such a way. Apparently it’s normal to run away from people you’re close to and talk shit about them when they have a life changing crisis (okay I made that up). But it is a type of defense mechanism; that whole fight or flight conversation if you will. After some much needed thinking time, reading, journaling, etc…, I’ve come to the realization that I will never be able to change the thoughts or actions of others, no matter how angry or hurt I am by them. I can’t change people; at all. They’re allowed to be who they want to be, and so am I. So I’m going. I’m going to the holiday shit because my daughter deserves that. I’m going, because I’m a good person and I don’t think I’m superior to anyone. I’m going, and trying to reframe and make conversation with people who have hurt me deeply. I’m going, because who knows; maybe these relationships can be mended. That’s how I’m navigating the holidays; I’m just going. I’m going with a positive attitude and showing kindness; ad just because I do these things, does not mean I won’t leave if I am uncomfortable or disrespected. Maybe people will follow my lead on being a little lighter and less serious and the shift could be greater than I expect. But for now, how I navigate the holidays, I’m going; but I’m also leaving.

Talk Soon,

Corrah