Hey there,

Two words, and two very important words at that. Mental health. What is the first thing that pops into your mind when you hear these two words? Is it unstable? Is it heavy duty medications such as antipsychotics? Do you think people who struggle with mental health are “crazy?” Do you buy into the stigmas that are associated with mental health and people who struggle with it? I definitely don’t think any of these things, but I know many people who do, and I’m guessing there are many many more people whom I do not know who think similar things as well. Now let me ask you the same question about heart health… First thoughts?? Maybe some good ones right. Like eating healthy foods, exercise to improve cardiovascular function, overarching healthy habits and so on. It’s your heart, it’s important, you take care of it, and there’s no shame in taking care of it; in fact it’s highly encouraged. When people go into heart failure or have heart attacks, most people aren’t mocking that person, turning away, or giving the person some ridiculous label based on their heart condition. So why is it any different with the brain? The brain is the single most important organ in the body, yet people mock others when their brain gets sick. The heart can get sick. The GI tract can get sick, your bones can get sick and break. Everything can malfunction on and inside of your body. So why is it acceptable to make a mockery of the brain. I would never talk badly about someone who has cancer. I would never gossip about them and say “well, it must have been something she did to herself.” I would never treat that person as less than a person. But people are out here struggling so bad with their brain illness and people are only making it harder. Yes, I said it. Mental illness is something that happens when your brain is malfunctioning. Something up there isn’t working correctly. Your neurons are misfiring. Things are not being processed correctly. The entire structure of the brain can change. So why is it that there is such a stigma? Why are we calling people “crazy,” or “she’s bipolar,” or “he’s a schizo?” That is incredibly unkind and people are slapping a label on others based on their illness. Would you say “he’s heart disease,” or “she’s colon cancer.” No, you probably wouldn’t. So WHY?? Someone please tell me why this happens. The brain is an organ and it gets sick too, just like any other organ. And like I said, it’s the most important organ in our body, so why is there so much shame attached to it being ill? I’ll never understand it. But HERE. WE. GO.

Mental health is obviously something that is very important to me in case you didn’t notice from my incredibly passive-aggressive rant-like intro. Physical health is also very important to me for various reasons such as cardiovascular health, bone and muscle health, improves mental health, etc… If I say this; that my physical health is important to me, I get a kudos and a certain type of respect. Now, on the flip side of the same token, if I say that my mental health is important to me, people perceive weakness, excuses, crazy, or just an inability to make a choice to be “happy.” I’ll also say this. I’ve struggled with my mental health my ENTIRE life. I struggled with depression and anxiety from the time I was a young child. I would isolate and I was constantly nervous about something (or anything). I felt sad a lot. At the time, I obviously didn’t know what depression or anxiety were, but after being diagnosed with major depressive disorder and generalized anxiety disorder when I was 14 years old, it all started to make sense. I wasn’t weird and quiet at times for no good reason; it was because my brain had something wrong with it. It was ill. It wasn’t working correctly. I needed treatment just as someone with irritable bowel syndrome needs treatment. While I also think 90% of the illnesses we face can be managed with a healthy diet and lifestyle; medication and further treatments from doctors can also be necessary for stabilization of any disease. I’m not saying that diet and lifestyle cures everything, I’m just saying it can help to make the illness tolerable and reduce some of the most unpleasant symptoms. I’m no doctor, but I am a nurse; so I have a bit of a background with this sort of thing.

I’ll maybe decide not get too much into the nature vs. nurture debate here because I think both factors come into play and I also think that in my experience it was heavily based on nurture. I obviously can’t prove that, but that’s just my personal educated opinion (and slightly biased one). I don’t want to slam on my family, because things have changed a bit and I’m an adult now, so I see things through a very different lens. But there was a lot of unnecessary trauma in my life that I didn’t deserve, and I think the nature of various environments I have been in have shaped the struggles I still face with mental health, but also shaped the person I am today. Dealing with mental health struggles can be a blessing and a curse. Two things can be true, isn’t that right my DBT friends out there… My brain changed in a way to create a safeguard for me in a sense. Always hyper aware of things going on, and secluding when necessary. These behaviors eventually changed my brain chemistry and turned into something larger. Sort of like if you stress eat every time something goes wrong, and your food of choice is fast food or something delicious and fried; eventually the cells and function of your heart are going to change right? That’s the whole point. Much of it is out of our control, and it needs to be managed just like any other disease.

Once again, I’ll never understand how people don’t view it this way. Little Annie broke her arm on the playground; that’s terrible, she must be in so much pain. John has gout and recently had a flare up in his foot; that must be so painful for him, I hope his medication helps him. Eric was diagnosed with Chron’s disease last month; this is going to be life changing for him, I feel so bad. Susan was recently diagnosed with MS; that must be so hard, we should see if there’s anything we can do to help. Common responses to common issues with the body malfunctioning and changing your life, causing pain, and developing an unwarranted hardship. Now let’s take a look at these other scenarios. Corrah had a severe depressive episode and almost died; she’s so selfish, I can’t believe she would do that. Lance has been hearing voices telling him to harm himself and other people; he’s crazy and dangerous, stay away from him. Lori was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder yesterday; give me a break, everyone gets anxious sometimes, she needs to grow up. Mark had a severe manic episode last summer; he’s so crazy and cannot be trusted.

There’s a bit of a difference in perception of these different diseases is there not? People can’t physically see these diseases, therefore they must not exist and the individuals suffering from them are just dramatic or downright “crazy.” I hate that word; crazy. Someone please describe crazy for me because it’s another thing I don’t understand. Having a snow storm that keeps you locked in your house for 2 days is crazy. The HOA rate is going up by $100 a month with no extra amenities or costs added to the property; that’s crazy. People are not crazy. People are sick, and people need help. Someone without depression cannot possibly fathom what it’s like to have a depressive episode. To feel like nothing matters and that you’d be better of dead. Depression isn’t just being sad. How I wish I could just be ‘sad’ when I have a depressive episode. Depression takes over your body not only mentally, but physically too. Your appetite can drastically increase or decrease depending on who you are. Your vision can be hazy. You can have severe headaches, body aches, and difficulty breathing. Some of these I am speaking from my own experience, and everyone is different; but I’m just trying to shine a light on what people go through during these dark times. The feeling of not wanting to get out of bed is real. It’s not just being tired and lazy; it’s an overwhelming task. Your body feels like a cement block that’s impossible to lift. Simultaneously, it feels like there’s a very heavy cement block on your chest that you can’t lift and it feels impossible to go on. Mundane tasks like brushing your teeth feels like running a marathon (I would know, I’ve run one before, remember?). The will to live slowly fades away as these heavy physical symptoms continue to weigh on you. Your brain tells you that you’re worthless and there’s no reason to go on. The weight gets heavy, and you get sick of carrying it. It feels like there’s no end in sight, and nothing positive left, even if your life is filled with beautiful, lovely, and positive things. And the worse you feel, the easier it is to believe it. It’s terrible. And as if it wasn’t terrible enough, people mock you and say all kinds of horrible things about you. Because they can’t see it. Because they don’t struggle with it. It’s behavioral, so you must be able to control it. You look up from your depressive episode or your panic attack and the people you thought loved you are gone; you’re exiled. They don’t understand. They’ve only ever seen the “real” side of you, so any type of mental health flare is scary for them. They don’t know what to say or do. So instead they do nothing. They disappear, because the person they thought you were doesn’t exist to them anymore. I may be extending people who don’t understand too much grace, but hey- I’m hyper aware remember? So I’m pretty mindful and insightful about what others may be feeling. I don’t fully understand autoimmune diseases, but I wouldn’t abandon a friend who has one. Anyways, getting a little off topic here…

If I had a brain tumor that was pressing against my frontal lobe, I would likely be acting funny, have some behavioral changes and so on. But that wouldn’t be treated like a mental illness right? There would be no shaming or negative perceptions. People would likely be kind and compassionate and treat the tumor for what it is and considering what it is doing to the brain. The tumor is causing a change in your brain. The tumor is making your brain sick, but because it’s not an invisible chemical change in your brain, it’s treated with a respect from others. It’s the tumor causing this, no wonder she’s acting strange. That must be so hard for her and her family. Incredible amounts of support come in from people, while people with a mental illness without a brain tumor causing the symptoms are left in the dark with no support. I strive to be a kind and understanding person, but this topic gets me so heated. Not only because of my personal experience with it, but for everyone else who struggles with it, and for those who have struggled much worse than I have. I know many people who struggle with mental illness who are being treated in a negative way, and like I said, I’m a nurse and I have an extensive background in case management and home care nursing; so I have been around many patients who have mental illnesses and they are alone. They have family who doesn’t speak to them. They hardly have any friends. They don’t drive because of their condition, and they sit in their apartment all day getting worse because they are alone with their own thoughts and start to believe those thoughts when they tell them they’re worthless. It’s incredibly heartbreaking. The illnesses have completely broken them. Some have given up. And that’s the thing, no one wants to talk to you until you’ve given up. Then the support comes in after you’ve successfully ended your life. People wonder why. They say they never saw it coming. Or the opposite, like in my experience; I was seconds away from losing my life, and some of the closest people to me fled. These people no longer talk to me. These people were my support system; or so I thought. I saw these people at least once a week for some kind of get together. I created traditions with these people. For God’s sake, they were my people. And now they’re gone. They’re gone because I’m “crazy” and they no longer want to associate with me.

One thing I will say though on a closing note, is that when you have a traumatic experience with a mental health crisis, you find out who your real people are. Some people you haven’t talked to in years come out of the woodwork rushing to your side offering support and asking how they can help. The people who matter the most. The people who truly care about you even if life has led to a distance; they come back, they love you. These are the people you hang on to. These are the people you continue to reach out to. Whether it’s just to chat, get together, or if you’re having a hard time and need support. These are the people who will be receptive and listen to what you have to say. These are the people who won’t judge you if you say you want to end your life. Unfortunately, you may find out that the closest people you surround yourself with are faking their love and kindness towards you, and when a crisis hits, that’s it, it’s over; they want nothing to do with you now. And it’s heartbreaking. I am still working through some of this from a mental health crisis I had in 2025. It’s painful, but I’m starting to make peace with it all and healing just from the support system aspect is going to be a long journey. Actions truly do speak louder than words, and the actions of others during a crisis says a lot more about them than it says about me. So with that, if you’re struggling with your own mental illness I hope it helps even a little to know you’re not alone. And maybe it helps to have an angry insider who shares your struggle. And if you’re not struggling with mental health, please be kind because those of us who have an illness are already being hard enough on ourselves; we don’t need the external judgements too. That’s all for now.

Talk soon,

Corrah